Warung Bebas

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Nothing new, but updates

Well today is saturday the uhhh.....24th. Yesterday was a pretty good day even tho I did nothing at all...I think today im gonna go get my hair cut again and maybe go to the city lights cafe or signature brew...The thing is I doubt any of these places are open. Its been two weeks since ive gotten my hair cut and I can barely even tell if its grown. You see im use to long hair. Mainly cause I've never been shown what GOOOODDD short hair looks like till I saw eddie eckels hair. Now some will saw oh we showed you james marsden hair. NUHUH he has long hair and its styled to look short.. Anywho eddie eckel is like one of two of my role models and heros that I really  look up to. The first one is bob alexander. But the reason that eddie is I've heard the things he has went thru as a kid like haveing practically raise is family. And I've had to do that my whole life and I still am. And to see how he is doing with his life NOW!!! gives me so much hope. Hope I've never really had. I just hope that one day i can be like him.....Then again he has an amazing wife as well and shes practically my mom. And tho I am not attracted to rebekah like that AT ALL I'd like to have a wife with the same personality and morals as her one day.Well I think thats all I get to share today hahaha ok well wolf out.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

December 27th

December 27th

This was the day my life changed

It was late that night when I got the news

At first I didnt know how to react

My mind was rushing

The tears were gushing

I couldn't cry then tho, which always got me

I couldn't cry no matter how hard I tried

Life was just a haze

From that moment all the way to right before the receiving of friends

I don't remember a thing

And I remember crying all that day thinking I couldn't cry anymore

Then thats when I saw her laying there cold with no movement

And the unthinkable happened...I cried harder

What I realize now is that, that wasnt her

The real her I shall see her again

Has been two years since that day

There has been days where I pull my hair out and ball my eyes out thinking of her

There has been days where I just remain silent stareing off into space

Not a day goes bye that I don't think of her

But my favorite days are days where all I remember is the good times we had

Discussing the Cowboys

Discussing music

How she loved the Zac Brown Band

Tho days like these are few I cherish every. single. second of them and so should you!

R.I.P    Karla Elizabeth Allred

Monday, December 19, 2011

Dopple ganger and more me being punk

Ok so I was just browseing thru deviantart and i found the bottom picture.....Well at least to me they look similar. The girl at the top is a really close friend of mine whom which I love. And do you see the ring the girl is wearing? Well megan has, I think a few rings like that and she loves them too. Anywho its time to get off the subject of these most elegant and beautiful girls ;) .....So my parents are getting old always saying "turn that music down" "PULL YOUR PANTS UP!!!" and stuff like that and with myt fav shorts they do drag, and with the shirt I was wearing (my purple fanta shirt) because it was tight and not very long it would show my underwear every what 10 minutes? But anywho who likes punk music? -raises hand- yeah I dont care.....OK!! I would like to discuss a few things that has been putting me down, because I am not going to take it anymore III have to have some personal enjoyment in life I AM NOOOTTT gonna put up with anyone compareing me to someone ESPECIALLY when people say "oh he can do that better" ok excuse my french but frankly I DONT GIVE A DAMN!!!!  Im Tucker Xavier Moore, im no Shawn White, no Dave Grohl, or who the hell else. I do things to succeed but my PURE reason behind the things i do is to HAVE FUN! not to be the best cause something ive learned is there is ALWAYS someone better out there. always...So if you wanna go and compare me to others then I can leave cause apparently IM not good enough for you. And I really dont care. Cause everytime I start to care I get hurt, but then one person comes along to where I can trust them, i can beleive every word they say even if i know its a lie, I can be myself and I can be happy and I push myself to be happy for them and they accept me for who i am. I have three people in my life like that right now, and i love them to death. Ok and another thing im tired of people always bragging to me about all there fancy material things and the things they get to do with there friendsm again I dont give a damn, I may not have a Big Brand Name guitar or a fancy expensive camera, but AGAIN!!! I do things for the fun, to enjoy it. Men (or women) arent measured by how much of a man they are by how big or expensive their clothes are, BUT by the person wearing the clothes. So next time you go to anyone and start to brag take a look atr yourself in the mirror then think about all the crap the other person has been thru then choose your words carefully. Another thing WHERE THE HELL did everyones respect for me go? My own 6 year old sister wont even give me respect. Ok wells besides all that im pretty fine, im really happy, the only thing im scared about is this week im suppose to go to the fun factory and im really itching to get into a fight. And I dont want to fight, I love to fight but i dont want to be violent anymore. But to be honest i doubt any of my """"friends""" will even come.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Rise up!

Its official.  My parents have become too old. Why? Well let's see. One I turn my music up just a bit and they scream and cuss at me. Now you may say maybe it is too loud. Well explain why when I have my ear buds in and im five feet away they tell me to turn it off cause its too loud. Now me being the punk I am I of course reply with "YOUR TOO OLD!" . And usually they pay no attention.  Two I wear shorts and my green converse and a tightish black tee shirt and have my hair all spikey/messy and my mom and dad will either say you look stolid-mom or you look like a dumbass-dad... Now another viewpoint. Id I went to Asheville with some acquintances and a my best friends emma and Rebekah. And now all but one of these people were girls. And I spilled my drink in the car on my deadmau5 shirt so I went to buy a new one. They picked out a tight v-neck and they loved it and said it shows my muscles. Which I don't really have apparently. And I get home around 11 walk in the house all happy like and the first words out of my moms mouth was "that shirt makes you look fat". Not where did you get that? Or why did you buy a shirt?...bummer. But then this is the same person who has always bought shirts that are twice my size all thru my life until now cause I get money from work. Seriously I have shirts I wore in pictures from 5th grade that.now fit me nice and snug. Oh well. What can I do? Well as much as I would loovveeee to rise up and be rebellious. Its against gods laws. So im just gonna wait till I turn 18 and can get the heck out of this place!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I thought this was worth reposting


"I beacame insane, with long intervals of horrible moments of sanity"-Edgar Allan Poe

Thinking upon thy's past
And looking upon thy's present
And the kind of person for I am today
I have seen that for I have changed in such a many a way
That once upon that old past
I couldn't have even begin to have comprehend these ways i would have changed
which makes thyself HAST!
to think
is these changes
ohhh these changes
been for ones good or worst?
For thyself shall never knoweth
But thy true
He, he shall always, always knoweth
my past
my present
and my future
But I do not knoweth....for now
until I knoweth wether or not
It is for good or worst
I shall Set on my way
my path
my path
of hopefully righteousness
that lay in front of ones self


im tired of the world right now so im gonna not post for awhile. good bye

Friday, December 9, 2011

What evs

Ok well no one has updated there blog lately besides me..........I has no life. So anywho on to the updates. I got to go roller skateing with my most excellent freinds megan, kaila, and lauren. My brother came alon which I didnt really mind. Except that everytime he fell if I was with in 5 feet he would blame me for. I've been watching smallville lately. Its this old tv show from a few years ago, about the story of superman but with drama. And lately I've been wearing alot of blue and black so of course I think im this guy.
 Yeah he's one of my favorites. He isnt that big of a character and not a lot of people know him, BUT I DO!!!! But anyway this is dick grayson a.k.a robin gone rogue. SO my life has been pretty good haveing some freindship issues with my favorite sister but other than that its all nice and smooth.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

tisk tisk wolf wins again

Ok Lauren im sorry you just can't give me a hilarious embarrassing photo of you.WITHOUT knowing im going to share it with others!!! So anyway this is a picture of my best freind with her beiber hair.Hahahahaha anyway I dont have anything new to update you on really. Im reading The meaning on night by Michael Cox and its good so far, I dont get to read alot so im still on like page 26 which sucks cause I reallllyyy want to read it.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011


OK...WOW, its been awhile since Ive done one of these I litterally forgot I had a blog. Ok so anyway my lifes doing a whole lot better ^_^ im alot happier than usuall. I got to go waltzing with some of my friends. They werent greeeat at it but who CARES??? I LOVE TO WALTZ!!! So I got to see my bro randy and hang with my other bro Earl A.K.A Fluffy. We went to this place to eat before called Fiores....IT TWAS AMAAZING! I got the tortellini alla panna and it was amazing! I found it hilarious that the bathroom wallpaper was a bunch of books (not real it was printed on the paper) and people had put names of books on them most were actually intelligent not perverted. Ok so we are going to be getting BIGGER group to go contra danceing which is waltz and other sequenced dances. It willbe at the Grey Eagle in asheville at 8 p.m. Please come!!!! And in other news A bunch of my friends are going to see mutemath in march. I love this band and I told meggy that I wasnt going so if she hits me with a book for lieing to her Ill know she reads my posts on here hahaha. And anyway there will be five people are waiting 3 or 4 hours in the fast lane line to get good seats and save 12 seats! O_O and im in that group we are calling it the K-9 unit cause it is WOLF (me), Fennec (Devin Brady (i call him devi..a character out of name of the wind)), Ashton (girl to my right in the black dress, who danced quite excellent and I cant wait to tear up the floor with her on the 12th), Randy (tallest guy in the back in the brown with the awesome smile), and the she-wolf (Lacie hurst...She is not my mate, she maaayyy not be going), and is she-wolf doesnt come fennec's sister will Brenna...My veiw on Brenna: she should learn to use a drill hahaha, shes pretty cool, shes a jacket stealer so watch out (meh i dont care really my temperature runs 3 degrees higher than normal) she has good music taste and gets my taste in girls with hairy faces (hahaha inside story). And anyway I cant wait till march we got our assembly (which i maaaayyy have a very big surprise for some peoples).....anywho thats all for now. oh wait school ok so this homeschooling thing is eaassssyyy by my calculations *monical* ill be done right around my 17th birthdate. anywho i hope everyone has funn and shows up to waltz!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Books, Play, NEW ZEELLDDAA!!

Ok  first off ive read a couple of new books. A romance novel and a few edgar allen poe again. SO ive never really been in to romance novels but i cant find anything else to read, plus my best friend reads them.....Maybe mine sucked because 1 i have no sense of unrealness (but yet i dream and hope of things that will never happen, and im a hopeless romantic) or 2 this isnt a book by a big writer...like Lynn Kurkland. And I havent read the rest of book #3 out of a Knights tale yet. And i gave my best friend who also happens to be my 3 time ex, two of my fav. newer books. One is Beautiful Creatures (which by the way wassss only two book series but the writer just came out with a third one EP! i have it waiting for me at the book store.now to find some money) and the other is the second book to the Night Angel trilogy. I love this series im thinking about reading it again. but the only problem is that the second book is with sheyane..and it took her a month to read the first one (only took me a week to read all three) and not only that im sure megan eckel will want to see the second book after reading my second copy of the first book.(or she will be prissy and reject it like everyother book ive given her...OH wait thats rigghhttt she has only read one book out of like ten i have given her :PPP). Ok well about my play not only do i get to act like a girl in one scene but i get to act french and wear a chefs outfit and act chinese and wear a mandarin outfit. And theres a kiss scene so "swiftly" pointed out to me by the girl i kiss....OK it was no wear near swift it was more like hay looky here we kiss then a wink and raiseing up and down of the eyebrows. ANNDDDD THERES A NEW ZELDA GAME OUT!!!! yeah apparently im a zelda poser because i HAVE A LIFE!!!! and dont get to play all the zelda games (which i have done until november the 20th) and remember every bit of each games story line......I have a life. i work. i have to help take care of two kids that arent even mine (siblings) and not only that i have a personal life thats good assosiation and i dont have to hide all of my such great "fun" from home. Anyway this game got 10 out of 10 in game informer and thats rare and plus it was on jimmy fallon which up'ed it way up on my list. We have the brand new WII plus Mario Red edition and its still in the box. Ive been saving it for a moment like this. But again I have a life and my own bills to pay so i wont be able to go out and buy this game until like five months.ok now for the people who actually read my CRAP! im going to complain a bit now...enjoy ----->

Ok, well the heder/title has nothing to do with this paragraph. Ok well this week is suppose to be yes stressful but fun as heck! Its turning out to be ten times as stressful but not even for the reasons i thought it would be. And to top that apparently its make tucker feel like a peice of shit week. (no i refuse to edit this paragraph cause ive had enough of this world right now). And the people i usually lean on the most to be able to make me happy arent around or apparently have lives unlike me. Just once i wish i had a normal childhood. And ya know it sure would be nice sometimes to get away from some of my old friends and i dont mean the worldly ones. I dont know why but it may just be me (probably is) but they seem to piss me off sometimes i know why sometimes i dont. i just wish ah HA! ill temporarely delete my facebook and lose all contact with them!!! Ive been really depressed lately i wonder y.......WEll lets see this morning i was awakened to being yelled at by my mom about allllll my faults and weaknesses shes like her own little satan. And ya know i wish i could find someone besides adults who understand i mean the only people i REAALLLYYYYYY get along with are the older people like bob and joy or Mrs. E. yeah thats about it. im tired of this life and i want out i thought that maybe comeing back into the truth would help but it sure as hell hasnt. Well im gonna go sit in a dark corner curl up into a ball and read some dark poe.....hahaha i wish i have to go to work...again

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Really upset

Ok as the title says im really upset and I can't talk to anyone about it because all the people I talk to are on facebook. And my mom is starting to check everything and tho I have nothing to hide very little things will make her freak out.  And recently as in a last week my mom was reproved from the kingdom hall. Eh.  I saw it coming. And anyway my mom seems to have it out for all my friends that are girls. But anyway back to the matter at hand. Why im scared is my mom came to me and said I have an elders meeting so Anywho I asked what for and she said in an angry tone Idk (a bullshit lie) something about the franklin hall calling over here about you. So not only does my mom think I only go over franklin to get a girl friend but so does everyone else. And it really pisses me off. And so at our meeting last night I asked the two elders im suppose to have this meeting with and they told me that it's just a check up from when I was reproved. So I went up to my mom and said oh mom they said it was justa check up and in front of god and everyone she got up in my face not only angry but with an attitude!  And says oh its alot more than that. So either my mom well never mind that's a given. But apparently either the elders lied or twisted the truth of some sort to me or are telling the truth. And to be honest I haven't done anything wrong! Which hurts me even worse. Sometimes like times like these I just want cut off all connection with my friends because when im not causing problems for them im getting in trouble. I mean who would really care if I did anyway? Im in facebook way too much. Im sorry but do u know what its like to be in the world leading a double life for years then give up on the truth for a whole year and come back. And then you find real friends that I suppose care for? Most likely no u don't and yes im addicted to my friends.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


Ok well ive got a week till auditions for a band....im so freaking nervous ive NEVER been this nervous!!! I've known the drummer for coming up two years now and she has a dry sense of humor and is really short and fun to aggravate :) . And i have some awesome freinds. I started listening to one of my favorite bands cause i hadnt in like years they are the kooks and they are british. SO at work i made a the kooks statoin and all these other bands like the strokes and artic monkey popped up and next thing ya know im in love with all these new bands (new to me) so of course I go and talk to my best freind kaila. She has heard of everything! And loves it all. SO i cant wait to be in some sort of band either it be just me, or me and kaila which id like cause she has an amazing voice and i love angus and julia stone (i dont know if they r married or brother and sister) and me and kaila would play like them, or with lorna lee and her brother and sister and Samual hurst. Either way being in a band is awesome no matter how bad yall suck. Ive been in a bad band and a ok band both were really fun. SO anywho ive been playing guitar now for sayyyyy 7 months maybe? and I have never needed a capo until now! so i posted it up there! cause i still dont have this thing figured out. I needed this capo for the song same mistake by james blunt. OH!!! i almost forgot i finally figured out how to play the solo of crazy train or any song that requires useing ur playing hand to tap the strings. Im so proud of myself. I went to my friends house and got my toenails painted (i was held down by strong manly women!) and then was forced to wear guy linear,,, i actually looked hot with the guy linear hahaha.  And at a party before that i over heard two of my freinds talking about how they like me better than my nemesis GIO!!! BHA BHA BHA!!! hahaha idk y he despises me all i ever want and still want is peace unless he starts a fight then ill mess his world up! And i may get to pretty soon and get away with it! Ya see I am getting invited to play football with his congregation and the only competitoin i really see is little john man would i love to take give a reall good lick (tackle or hit) to him. Footballs rough! haha oh well peace! LOVE AND BE LOVED!!! see ya again soon. maybe

Friday, October 28, 2011

wow!!! (not world of warcraft)

OK so first off. I got 24 page veiws yester day... thats about a little more than a third of what i got last month! And a 14th of what ive gotten totall. But i have 50 posts and about 6.8 veiws per page. Anyway Ive been really happy lately. I think one of the main reasons is Becasue ive been listening to happy music again. Like one of my favs the kooks! And i found an amazing song tho i dont like to sing it i love palyiong it and singing the chorus. ITs do the panic by phantom planet. And 2 I found my best bro finally thats in the truth and isnt like oh everything is wrong. His name is zachary Brown and hes cool man! 3 because i got two amazing people in my life and they always cheer me up ^_^ kaila and megan! I love you too! sooo much. I cant wait to hang out with zacharay again last time we played games all night and at one point i started beat boxing WHICH I NEEEVVVEEERRR DO! and then zach started to rap and even tho it lasted like only 2 minutes it is a highlight of my LIFE!. I finally got over my writers block for guitar playing. I have wrote at least two songs in the past week or two. the first is to kaila keys named I'll knit you a Sweater. It doesnt have lyrics but maybe she will come up with some i wishh someone else would ask me to write them song cause i really dont have any inspiration. And the other one i havent really named its just a blues progression and i love it. i came up with it out of now where. I think the best songs made r the ones that hit u and not the one u try to make. im getting my haircut today so i hope ill look good.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Misconceptual Musical Mondays

Ok first off Id like to respond to my freinds post about audio books. I like them actually as long as I can have the book with me too incase i miss a few words. But I usually cant afford any audio books so therefore i read hardcopys. Ok now back to the topic of this post. Ok one thing i love to do is read a book while listening to my music. Now most people who I tell this to ask me if I ever get anything out of the book That I read. YES! Yes I do. I may not be smart but I know how to do the two things i really love alot at the same time. Now only if i can sing and play guitar at the same time.

1. What do u like to do while listening to music?
                I like to read or play basketball.

2. What was the last song you downloaded or bought?
                         Talk shows on mute ^_^ by Incubus

3.What was the last song u reccomended to a freind or a freind reccomened to you?
                                Talk shows on mute by Incubus!!!!!

Monday, October 24, 2011

On top of the world!!!

Ok well this week has been absolutely amazing!!!!! I have a new best freind and i can tell we will stay that way for a long time!!! Ive never really could decide what to do when i turn 18... Now I do! i want to go and move and split rent with a freind in franklin or otto. then once i feel good move to asheville!!! Ok so wednesday was awesome i got a box full of stuff from my freind kaila. And i have to burn one thing in it but eh its cool. And im going to be giving away my disco ball!!! and then that wednesday i got to roller skate again for the first time in 5 years. i was horrible, and I grew like a foot so that didnt help. And i traded my black hair tie for my best friends brown one. Ok yes i have short hair but heres some reasons why i wear a hair tie on my wrist: 1.Incase someone actually needs one to use. 2.I think it looks cool. 3.I like wearing it. 4.I like having it there incase I get bored and need something to play with haha. 5.idk i just like it so deal!!! Ok well megna got a picture of me with a girly clip in my hair and two itty bitty pony tails. I might try and get it off her computer the 5th when i get to take my best freind over to see my favorite family! And last night was another great day! and NIGHT! AND MORNING!!!! hahaha me and zachary went over to the keys and got to play football but my favorite part was just staying in kailas room with the lights off when it was nice and mellow and then giving megan a massage and playing guitar! Almost had to put kaila on a leash for a minute cause zach kept hitting her with the darts from a dart gun. good thing i still know how to do a triangle choke with my legs.....i didnt get her around the neck just her leg hahah still nworked considering im 100 pounds more than kit kat (my nickname for kaila). And me and zack stayed up till 3 playing video games.I got a 100 singing so what chya want on expert!!!! And then we played monopoly. Cant wait till next wednseday...and that week will be amazing as well... I LOVE ALL U GIRLS AND MY BRO ZACH!!!

Friday, October 21, 2011

There is nothing like it (the series) #1 FEAR

There is nothing like seeing the fear in a opponents eyes. Whether it be in sports or just everyday life or the calm before the storm of  a fight. But better than that is to see the pure black pool of evil in a persons eyes and knowing just knowing you are about to take him down. No knowing you have the ability to take them down. But better than THAT is being able to see the fear in a runts eyes and see the darkness in the bigger alpha dogs eyes and being able to step into make a difference. Then there's nothing better than to be able to walk and have a path made for u just by the fear others have towards u.

Sunday, October 16, 2011


For a grown man cry at the sight of his young boy accomplishing his dreams

For a husband to comfort his wife no matter how bad life seems

For a mother to love her young in her darkest hour

For a child to rejoice over creating such a simple block tower

For two loved ones ability to sing a symphony with one look

For all the tears and laughter and heart warming adventures in one book

For two people in love to have that one moment of peace where all the pain and stress goes away and all that love is at bay

For the children who see the laughter in the simplest thing and the child who can be occupied with just a string

For all the beautiful things that were giving us. Whether it be a moment, or a scene, or a giggle, or laughter, or tears of joy, or the smile of one who never smiles, or anything that can come to mind. I thank thee jah for all that I appreciate, my friends, my music, my books, ur wildlife, ur forests, ur sunsets, ur flowers and trees and the infinite other things I thank thee. But one thing I thank u for the most.  For you are the god of it. I will never be able to.give as much as u do. But I want to thank thee for it love. Urs. There's. And mine. LOVE!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Nothing left to say

Ok well im tired of always being depressed and what not so im out playing basketball and golf. Once it warms up again im going to start back skateboarding which I haven't done in three years. I might quit clogging cause of reasons id rather not go into. Im officially 155 pounds. I lost 25 pounds but I still dint have a six pack. Im looking to buy a tremolo bar for my strat and maybe a new pick guard.this Thursday after service ill be playing with a new band. Hopefully ill get the part. And besides all that I get to go to the biltmore house with some friends. And I found a knot im my arm at the top muscle and I don't know how I got it its been two fays and itsstill there.  Mom wants me to go to the doctor but meh who cares anyway. Haha she's was like what if u die because of that? I was like good then it'll put me out mine and everyone elses misery I laughed she didn't.so anyway im off of here cya peace!

Friday, October 7, 2011

ways to lose weight

1. Eating breakfast is a very important step. You actually gain weight when you dont eat breakfast.
2. If your going to pick a specific diet make sure dont cheat yourself and stick to it. Studies have shown that to make something a habit u have to do it for 10 consecutive days and the chain is broke if u dont follow it for three days in a row.
3. Choosing a plan is hard. the things u need to keep into careful consideration is:
  • what your weight is now and what you want it to be
  • your environment. you may think this is stupid but if your plan includes physical activity then u need to know your surroundings
  • Physical activity. is not mandotory. BUT!! If u do have physical activity then you need to know your limits! no pain no gain is wrong it should be no burn no gain if your muscles or bones hurt then stop and go see a doctor..(burning and hurting is two different things burning can sometimes hurt but stop being a pansy and suck it up..no offense)
  • Your schedule. your plan will rely alot upon your schedule and you may find the "perfect" diet plan but if iit doesnt fit in with your schedule then it goes horribly wrong.
4. At the start of your program you may not lose weight right off....dont feel down. give it some time to work like maybe a week or two.
5. Dont starve yourself! I've seen too many people get too sick because they never eat.
6. If you have a set time to eat.but your not hungry, DONT EAT!!! Doctors have proven that when you eat when your not hungry is bad for you. you should skip this meal even if its breakfast.
7. Have confidence! No matter how big you may be you need to have the ability to look in the mirror and say."danggg i am one fine peice of work! and if you dont like me the way i am then i dont need u!"
8. If at the end of your program you havent reached your goal weight then you clearly need to move the end date of the program ahead..BUT if you havent made any progress since day one then you need a new program.
9. No matter what your program or plan is, you need to drink plenty of fluids. Preferably water and teas (not sweet or unsweet tea)
10.Last off. dont wear make up it actually makes you gain weight. And no matter what the end result is, you did great beacues you tried and you know now that you have the abilitty to try again!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Nothing new....or is there?

Ok well first off i got my mandolin back from this place called guitar stop..i officially hate it. The owner thinks he knows it all. And i don't care if he DID know it all you still should have some manners and treat others with respect. I know someone who i wouldn't be surprised if e did know it all.. bob alexander and why I think that is cause he is always quiet and respectful and well has soooo much knowledge and wisedom and has alot of patience. And bob is my role model! Ok well i got my mandolin back and of course i get critisised by my family. And i was givin a family heirloom that belonged to my great uncle. Its a dobro slide guitar and has a resinator in it. You see my grandmaw and her brothers were in a band and even recorded in johnny cashs' studio. But anyway when i got it it smelled of mold and had stains all over but i fixed it up and all i need now is to find some heavy guitar strings. Well anyway its been a good and sickening weekend all together. And I've found my wonder twin and my sis is sick but i know shes going to get better cause i told her she would and by god when i say somethings going to happen it will.i just wish i could go visit her and yeah i don't care about germs viruses and diseases...y? Because germs viruses and diseases are scared of me and run like heck. Heck id even kiss her if it meant transfering that sickness to me. But alas i can't so for know we all haw to just put up with our problems.

Sunday, September 25, 2011


Ok im going to try and stop being me....sounds stupid but if u reallllly knew me ud hate me. Im going to go on a quest. Im going see whether i should be funny or not. Be happy or sad. Or maybe mad. I need to find out who i am. I am going to rid this form of all emotions for as long as i can.  Im going to quit me. And whether u think this is a good idea or not it doesn't matter there's nothing or no obe who can stop me.I am unstoppable. So if i see u...which i highly doubt will ever happen anytime soon but if u see me and i seem to be in a monotone.well then im still figureing out me

What do I have left?

What dooo i have left? Cause i don't know. My whole life I've played football.raised to play.and that's all i can see now. It hurts so much ill just sit on my bed sobbing with tears and pulling at what hair i have while listening to the boys of fall. That's all i know how to do. I don't have anything else goinfor me right now. I just don't know what to do. I do everthing ok or bad. But football was a whole other story. I was great! I set two school records as a freshman and for half the season i had a broke arm! I broke the most interceptions in a season and most yards after catches........with a broke arm. I never complained i never back talked i was perfect. We were a brother hood. And now im in the truth and my so called brother and sisters r rejecting me my friend who has been my sister for ever hates me and so does her family im.being bullied by a baptized brother and no one cares or does anything! Where in the hell is the respect! Yeah i get im.not worth anything but even a tiny mouse deserves his justice. Do you know what its like to be able to wall into a classroom and kids ur own age and older look up to and look to u for protection? No u don't cause most people have lived sheltered lives andhave no clue wha the world islike! I was raised poor and still am and in a small town like this football is everything. I went to a football game the other day and some kid I've never seen came up to me and said " are you Tucker? #23? I saw u play! Your a beast on the feild! Will u throw ball with me?" I busted out into tears and toldthe kid i'd be honored. His dad saw that and asked me why i cried. Andi told him that i love football and that i should have never quit. And i told him to let his boy do what makes him happy. And he busted into tears. So here i sit sobbing and choking on my tears wondering why in the hell am i still liveing?

Monday, September 19, 2011

MMM..Misconceptual Musical Mondays

Ok so here's three questions.
1.What was the last song tht made u cry and y?
2.If you were in a band what would be the band name?
3.If could tour the world with one band whether they r deador not who would u tour with?

Sunday, September 18, 2011


Ok well im just going to go try some more reasons on why I do things and other useless crap tha pitys me.ok well alot of people say I cry alot. Well last week I only cried five times.once because we were watching my favorite cartoon ever in a car and it was a single tear.the second was because my mom got up in my face telling me how I disgust her and how im not worth anything and that ill never make it to the new system. And the only reason I don't kill myself is because I want every chance in the world to try and make it in the new system I have been told all my life that I was never going to make it there its not a privilege anymore its a goal and a challenge.there is sometimes that I just want to kill myself but I know I can't because I have a family t take care and even tho they get onto me and yells at me I stil need to take care of them. The third was because megan cheered me up when I was in such a low state and the fourth was again the same reason.the fifth was because Idk y. All I know was I sitting on my bed and my eyes just started I wasn't sobbing or anything I just did Idk it wasn't weird its happened before.well ok im not going explain y I cried when my got on to me cause any one who had a lick of common sense can figure out. But the reason y I cried when I watched that cartoon episode is cause it takes me back to just for a short 7 mintues in my childhood wasn't ruined. Now I still may be a child age wise or physically but ever since ty was born I have been having to play father cause well my "dad" is always at work and then comes home to watch tv and go to bed while yelling at someone all the while. But he has gotten better tho with ty and erica tho. I mean the things they get away with if I so much thought about at there age or now for that matter I wouldn't be able to sit down for weeks they'd whip my butt so hard. The reason I cried megan cheered me up is that whether shes my friend or not she cheered me up and I have never had any one there to do that for me thru my life span. And the reason I shed a single tear over the mod simplest and littlest things like say a song is cause I haven't ever been able to enjoy it or anything else and even tho I may have heard that song many a times just that one time whether im with my best friend or in my room bored im hearing that song for the first time as beauty. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me cause then ill feel bad. The reason I write all my problems is cause well I never get to really talk about these things and I guess it just feels good to get it out. And this blog truly is a blessing y? Because my mom doesn't read it and I can say what I truly feel. Now I only talk to very few people about these things is cause they either ask or because I need them but there are certain people like lauren Eckel and other people who I will never discuss because well I like them so much I think they deserve the best parts of me. Ok well I told u not to read this but if you did ...thank u and I send u my love</p>
<p>P.s. feedback would be nice</p>

Friday, September 16, 2011

Life in a fox hole

Well lately life has been treating me like..... well more like beating me.there have been times where I've wondered if god really even exists anymore and times where god is the only thing I got. My mom just had surgerey for something she ddnt even need. And so I have been haveing to take care of my brother and sisters from now on in. You might ask where my dad is..weeelllllllll my birthfather is in jail. And the so called "dad" that married my mom when I was two could give a shit less about me really I mean the last time we said more than a few words to each other was when I went to a game and went and sat with my friends and realized halfway thru the game my "dad" was sitting behind me and I said hay....that was over a month ago. He screams and yells at me and if I do good he'll throw me up against a wall and cuss at me. And my mom well she does the same except throwing me up against a wall. And I have told people my plans about how when im 18 im moving out. Sine people ask y I just dont stay there a little longer. Well its not because I want out which I do but because that's when im getting kicked out. And along with that my mom might die. And to make matters worse I have gotten mad and have a real quick temper lately and mood changes. One minute ill be cussing one of my best freinds whom I love (kit kat) and the next im crying asking for forgiveness and advice in wht to do. And another person who we really aren't friends or not atleast yet in my mind. But anyway we have been talking more than I ever remember and we have fought twice already (meggellys). I haven't told certain people these things because one I don't thing they deserve to be wrapped up in my crap (lauren...no one really should have ever gotten wrapped up in it) or because I jus don't know u and ur not my friend and we just talk or hang out some (lorna) either way im sorry for everything I've done to my friends..the only safe place I have any more is my room. And I haven't been to a meeting in about two months. I use to never miss one. But then I called everyone to get a ride. I thought I had some friends over here. Apparently not, I mean I had a meeting with the elders and they didn't even ask about where I've been. I haven't gotten one single phone call or nothing I mean I live right next to an elder for gods sake! Where is this "brotherly love" at? So as far as im concerned my life will be fine when im 18 and out of this lyeing inbreed state.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

One Fair Day

Ok well I have nothing to update books wise ive read just about the most I can bear right now. wait i did read the squires tale #2.Maybe I already blogged about it.-goes and looks-............................................Ok no i havent ok well anyway this book is well I will give it 3.5 stars ..ok the reason them stupid stars are up there instead of over here is cause i dont feel like fixing it sorry.But any way this series is made up of a lot of short books. The second one was ok in the beginning and then a little bit better then WHAM!!! some thing happens between the main character and the king (i loved that part) and then it climaxs and border lines all the way to the end which i loved. If you are into medieval storys, fantasy storys, or both like me and my best fre...my friend Meggellys does then this is a must read. Ok now back to what I came here to write about. -le sigh- Ok well me and my best friends went to the fair the other day.Im getting happy again just thinking about it. Well I had an amazing time:
Megan said:
"hmmm... I think my favorite part was dancing to "Bottoms Up" while waiting in line. I liked "The Pirate" the best. I liked the first time we went on it. hahaha"
Lorna said: So what was your favorite ride?
"The Himalaya. I remember riding it Im not sure how long ago with my mom, it wasn't that one specifically but it was the same ride and it was just as fun as I remembered it to be."
And what was your favorite part of that day?
"Hmm I think just being able to hang out with my friends and all of us having an awesome time together with out being bored out of our skulls."
Kailas thoughts on the subject have yet to be known i will update this post soon tho.
My favorite part was actually being able to be in asheville for the first time and have a good time.Plus I was with my sister and my two friends. there was only one down time if that. FOr me my down part was when i actually started to think.....well as in i wonder off and i am like in my own demension thats when megan started to wave her hand in my face and then we got on the himalaya..and again sometimes it does suck to be the bigger one like on rides that spin u around u get squished but ive been thru worse so it was nothing. Tho at one point i couldnt feel my foot for a moment.And I am really glad i got to tag along and thankful i have such an awesome sis and freinds. I cant wait till we get together again which might be at some skillet raven party? idk i asked if i was invited and i got an imediate no from the girls so i  get it its cool but kaila is going to try and teach me to swing dance at another party or get together....I tried swing dancing at mcdonalds with her and i cant dance apparently without ghettoing it out.Im sure that will be fun.And then i have to help with alot of my best friend sheyanes graduation party which i wont be going to because its in december and if u know me that is my last work month and im not taking any off days cause its the last time i get to work before i start back homeschooling.Well i am extremly upset i wont get to dance with my friends and slow dance with emma which is the most cutest thing on the earth to me.. and i wont get to make lauren try to do anything really which if u knew her u would know that i love to tease and aggravate her cause she is the one who enjoys sitting in dark corners doing nothing.But the bright side of it is i wont have to go and see half of the people i hate in the world :)...well i think im done so ill see who ever reads this later unless i dont know that is.BYEZ!

Monday, September 12, 2011

MMM......Misconceptual Musical Mondays

1. Whats the first sing u heard or listened to today?

2.what's your favorite techno'ish song?

3. If you were in a band what instrument would u play?(u don't have to really know how to play it)

A1. Ok im pretty sure it was people=$#@% by slipknot
A2. Harder,better,faster,stronger by daft punk
A3. Guitar and vocals

Sunday, September 11, 2011

just boring.....or is it? yeah it is

Ok well im considering quitting blogging...I may start a new one on tumblr but Idk I mean I like writing and all but I like feedback as well...its just like this stupid town I want to to do more but I can't.well I finished reading the squires tale 2 I thank megan Eckel so flipping much for reminding me of my most favorite of books that I haven't finised the series yet. Well ever heard of the girl next door?  Well it's like the hot girl next door that the guy likes and some guys fantasies -rolls eyes- well I just realized im the boy next door..there is this stupid little blonde girl who visits her grandparents every year more than once and like every time I see her I always have my shirt off doing something hot like working on something playing basketball or playing guitar..and she flirts with me all the time.well besides tht I read something that makes me want to g back to not ever giving a $&*% about anything...."the person who always cares about everyone and trys to make everyone happy is always lonely"...well besides that I get t go to the fair with by far my bestest friends ever! And I am going to win that stupid $200 on the bull ride and im going to buy a plate with the money too...and for some reason I want a new kitty one that is blonde

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

MMM....Misconceptual Musical Mondays

K this is not a spinoff of Megans WWW this is my own thing!!!
1.What was the first thing you listened to this morning..or night?
2.Whats your favorite type of music and why?
3.AND! If you could perform one song flawlessly on stage what would it be?

1.Higher by Creed
2.mostly everything but if I had to die to choose I'd pick rock 'n' roll all the way
3.Havent really thought of that..maybe thats why I asked it..Ok I would have to say Slight return by Jimi Hendrix..CAsue he is amazing and i love the song

Tucker the Fae

Love what is it? Hmmmmm.???? IDK. Love to me is seeing the trees and rotting leaves underneath it and knowing that tree is conected forever to the earth.They are one! The tree didn't ask for this but neither did the earth.BUT neither complains.You might think that is because they can't speak. Well sorry to disappoint but they do in such a way that no one can explain but feel even I can barely begin to comprehend there speech.The tree why it provides us with air in its most simpilist functions.It gives earth the most beautiful sight o look upon or up at.And earth why she returns the favor with thin and thick blades of over 100's of different shades of green grass and millions of different types of beautiful shoots of flowers.Such beauty cannot be harnessed.Then these evil despicable creatures come and destroy and desimate what GOD HIMSELF gave them! They come and destroy once was theirs to build monstrous things of metal and for what? FOr their love of their type of green "beauty" (money). And for I to be apart of these creatures makes me want to vomit. For I sall never, NEVER be one of them! I shall die alone, yes I am lonely that maybe eone day I might find such a love that i feel for the worlds natural beauty around me in a human. This natural beauty that was given to us by god and and was meant to stay but one day it shall all be restored.....................one day.

WWW thing and other craaaappp

ok im currently reading The squires tales #2 and it rocks!!!
Just got done reading.uuhhhh ummmm lets see it nwas the uhh i cant remember....
I wanna read the squires tales #3..OHHH!!! i just finished reading The squires tales #1 which i gave to my best freind.ok im going to start a new thing just like megan's www wednesdays but mine is going to be called music monday!!!!! :D   any way im going to go ahead and make one for this monday...i have to take my permit test today and i have musical theater and havent slept at ALLL!!!! the past few days!!! im tottally going to fail EPICALY AND ROYALLY!!!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Updates and moore

Ok so for all of my viewers (none) I would like to say.............boo. yeah im really bored but my bestest friend and loved sister got me hooked on his game and I tink half the reason I play it is to try and beat her at it. But either way im one of those guys who doesn't care for the end result but enjoys the challenge I think my sis just wants yo win but she wlhas been playing since like 5inches ago (very long time). I got my debit card last night .....no wait it was this morning at 2. I also got the squires tales# 2 and am looking forward to reading it.I had a hilarious burn the other night.  Someone said im cool as crap. So I came back with most crap is body temperature so ur not cool at all. I wore my deadmau5 shirt to the game a few days ago and the only persons that knew who they were was a gay man which we ended up talking for like 5 mnutes.oh and im still working on quitting the game which I have every word ready to type all in my head just evrytime I get to do it I get distracted.and ne and this one kid from clyde have never really gotten aplong but we r testing each other and we aren't friends but we r cool....also im gointo get to go play guitar at shys party in a couple of months while she sings who knew by pink. But its most likely I wont depending on who shows up to the party. Cause lately a guy in our hall who just got there some time back is a bully. Now I had go put up with bullies my whole life until the day I had enough and beat the living crap out of the bully who was clearly twice my size and that was 5th grade when I was 4' 2" and 75lbs.. and im sorry to say this but im either going to beat the hell out of him or quit going to our meetings and go to north or south franklins meetings.all that's all I can think of at the moment so ill see all zero of you guyses lata.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Reply to musing mondays

What was the last book you…
• borrowed from the library?
• bought?
• cried over?
• disliked and couldn’t finish?
• read & loved?
• got for review? (or: got in the mail?)
• gave to someone else?
• stayed up too late reading?

I haven't ever borrowed a book from the library.
I just bought squire tales two but it hasn't come in yet ugh.
omg cried? Idk if I can give out that information ....yeah right. To be honest I don't ever remember crying over a book but my gut says otherwise so I will think about it....
read and couldn't finish hmmmm uhhh let's see juliet mirelly or something book.
 Read and loved the night angel trilogy or the one book by alex finn im reading.
I haven't ever ever got one for reveiw and for the one I gave away let's see the way of shadows to u andkaila (u after kailas done) ....
to late reading would have to beeeeee -drum roll- the king killer chronicles by patric rothfuss...........................


Thursday, August 25, 2011


Ok well imma going to be working on a new post that imma going to expect to be verrrrryy long. K itsgoing to be called givvnup the game I want some one to try and guess wha its about. I deleted my facebook account and made a new one cause all my old friends foundme ugh. Anyway imma going t be typeing this new post on my new old typer imma going to clean up

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Tired of it all.

Well im tired of haveing to change to be someones friend or to get the girl.I want a girl and I want her to like me for me.I just wanna be there for thru thick and thin even if she doesn't like me the way I like her and when she's down I wanna be the one to build her up and when she cries to be the one to put my hand on her shoulder and to convince her everything is ok......im tired of opening up to people I only wanna open up to people like my sisters.I feel like a girl.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Just because

Hay you guys this will my first blog in a looonnng time..im nervous again cause I have some awesome greinds who write awesome blogs. Anyway my friend is going to dragon con..he is going as a fallout character..I plan on going next year if im not in australia as kylar stern a.k.a. the night angel...anyway he is a wetboy a.k.a. assasin. He is a character in my recently read series the night angel trilogy. Any way I said I might be in australia that's right I might be going to australia as a foriegn exchange student.I am still playing guitar and loving it.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

I will:..... to whom ever

i will:
-love u forever till my last breath
 -make up for everything i have done wrong to you
 -and be with u even after death
-and cry with u
-kiss u when u need it
-die for u
- hold u when ur alone
-and be in ur heart when im gone
-tell u i love u
-say ur beautifull even tho you are dripping with sweat and mucus and tears and make up in sweats
-cuddle even tho your sick as dog and risking getting ur illness
-fullfill your wildest dreams
-give you everything but I can't cause i dont have possession over you
-be the one you want to go to when you have a problem
-give you my world but I dont have one if your not in here
-be there when your mad and never leave
-give you my shoulder when you are in greave
-always be...just be
-always there
-always right or wrong without argue
-always be strong when ur weak and weak when ur strong
-always apoligize even when im right
.......WHY? cause you mean something to me!

P.S. I hate cuddling!

Friday, June 17, 2011

ok here goes nothing

Ok here goes nothing....literally i have nothing to write about except for the part that By sunday after like...uummmmm.....7? I will be able to write a new post.. yes it will be another movie reveiw :)) i feel like i will cry during this one but i also have a feeling it will be a bad movie reveiw as well.im still in love. And its more thasn physical its more of spirittually we both want to go to gilead and have no kids..thank god......now for the ultimate test! TIME!!! And right now besides tht there is aalloottt of drama in my life with my freinds. ugh.. why can i just not relax for once? oh well i also got my workers permit..apparently u need one for everyjob u have but its really easy to get one u just look it up and u fill it out on the internet and print it out......well until later ill see u gals and guys soon!!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Fast and Furious

Well i watched fast and furious last night and i give it->Because it is actually one of the series that is one track/story line.I love the action scenes. In this one the action scenes and the driving scenes are actually possible.....Except one which is in the begining were they r on a job and Dom is driving around 70 mph and does a 180 and keeps going but backwards which is almost impossible in real life because the transmission would break and the engine would combust or burn out. But I have seen it done..twice as a matter of fact..One way is with two engines for the front tires and the back ones.The other way is tht u modify an advanced motorcycle engine which can go just as fast forward as backwards.But it only has two very little sex scenes so i most let u know tht it is not verrryyy inappropriate but i recommend it for 10 yrs of age and up.


Ok so I have found out tht i no longer need to be on facebook like i am (which is all the time). Because on my droid i have a gmail account brockbrasil@gmail.com  if u want to talk to me email me. i also have an app for blogger which will be pretty useful...BUT the screen is small so it might be a pain in the butt.But anyway i found out tht my freinds bob and joy want the eckels back in june? or july? idk but it will be awesome maybe i will get to beat my bestest friend at a game of speed again :P. http://bookworm1996-megansbookblog.blogspot.com/2011/06/update-and-more-personal-problems-you.html .well besides tht maybe we will get along better like we did at the last party when we were playing cards. And besides that i got to see my extremely best freind sunday at my meeting. well besides that im going to post two more posts and then ill be making another page made just for my book and movie reveiws.----> http://embermuir.blogspot.com/

Thursday, June 2, 2011

So far + Pirates reveiw

Well so far my life away from home is awesome at home not so much. I went to go watch the pirates of the carribean 4. It was pretty cool. Iwatched Kung foo panda 2 previously in the week and i didnt get to really watch it cause i had someone on my mind.But by the time i got to watch the pirates movie i was better and had her settled down on my mind. But i think i could make a good movie critic.Well anyway if u havent seen it dont read the rest.Well anyway id give the movie a 3 out of 5 cause it did have a lot of bloopers and didnt have Orlando Bloom in it (im not gay) it kinda reminded me of the fast and furious series....ugh.well anyway again I liked tht captain Jack Sparrow (johnny depp) finally works together with Barbosa.Quite funny.But  you do get into more of Sparrows history and his trickery. Anyway i reccomend it to anyone who does like the movies it did get alot less demonic and for those who arent like me. haha


Happy happy happy.....hahaha so anyways its been a looonnggg time since ive posted something on here. So anyway I've been a vegan for almost half a year hurray!!! And I've been in a relationship for who knows how long, no seriously how long? Well im really happy all the darkness ive been going through is gone. But problems still remain.UGGGHHHH!!! haha i finally found out what love REALLY is.. I found out by spending time with my bestest freinds bob and joy alexander and i guess thts what ill write about next.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Update or just my problems ;)

K. Well this will be the first post I have written tht is actually not a poem or in tht style.....But then again I am Very happy. I'm happy because someone loves me, and my darkness has subcided......for now. But other than that i have been trying to read but it seems I have to much on my hands to do it. I'm always working or playing guitar or fixing my truck or working out. At least I don't listen to books.
This is me at benching 160 now!!!!! And the thing is im benching more than anyone my age right now and I AM A VEGAN!!!!!!! hahaha..... You wanna challenge me? come on i dare you. But anyway last time i measured my biceps they were 15 inches around but that was a while ago. This is a pic of me four days ago i took I dont know why I took it still dont know why haahahaha...I'm also training for the warrior race next year.Its a 5k race thru mud and wire awesome right? Well my bestest family friends told me about it and by the time I tried to sign up it was too late. But all I want to do is beat them..ANd all I do is win..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGXzlRoNtHU  ........Click this link and you'll know what song NOT to play while I'm in a compitition cause I'll go NUTZZZ!!!! Litterally this year during football season I earned one of my nicknames CG (concussion giver) cause this song came on during a game i was like coach " I want it coach I want it I want it I want IT BADDDD AAAHHHHH!!!!" ..."K tucker go run 49 toss sweep"...Well I ran it for a Touchdown but knocked some kid bout my size off his block  tht tried to tackle me hahaha dont mess with me and football! hahaha ............But anyway it feels good to be in love.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


Whats the use in living if-
-nothing makes you happy
-theres nothing to live for?
I dont care for the paradise anymore
all i want is to serve JAH now.
But nothing nothing!
ever makes me rejoice anymore
my dark shadows are falling out of control
whats the use in asking-
-when no one wants or never even answers
-or the answers you hear are far from whats right?
Theres no use in the paradise for me
i fall deep into shadows

Monday, May 9, 2011

This Pit Of Mine

Falling deep into this pit of darkness
Of which some how my subconcieous has created
As I scratch, scream, tear, howl, and pull
This moon remains a full
Every thing I have grown
Has turned into a weedy throne
Everything I have seeked to love
I have destroyed
I mean for it not end this way
but these wounds are within my heart
I find some way to dig these wounds within my heart
and my mental wounds
deeper I fall
No matter how loud I scream
It seems as if help cannot be retrieved
But then again the help I have received
I have pushed away......
For when will be the day
That my time shall end?
""Your time will come""
(I put to qoutasionns because a freind told me this and its from a maiden song)

Darkness Within

"As I walk through the valley of death I fear no evil"
And all I want to be is a hero
but alas I can not
for I feel this dark part of me
it moans
it grows
and roars
from with in me
saying I want out!
It came from the deepest most part of me
Never knew this monster was here
and when i look at my self in the mirror I feel disgust
I also feel the fear
The feeling as if i try to change that I will be torn in two
by this monster that I have created
from what i dont know you tell me
for I have no clue or control of these feelings I feel anymore
the darkness seeks from my pores as I sweat
it weeps from my eyes as I cry
and it leaks from my bones within.

Friday, April 29, 2011



"I beacame insane, with long intervals of horrible moments of sanity"-Edgar Allan Poe

Thinking upon thy's past
 And looking upon thy's present
And the kind of person for i am today
I have seen that for i have changed in such a many a way
That once upon that old past
I couldn't have even begin to have comprehend these ways i would have changed
which makes thyself HAST!
to think
is these changes
ohhh these changes
been for ones good or worst?
For thyself shall never knoweth
But thy true
He, he shall always, always knoweth
my past
my present
and my future
But i do not knoweth....for now
until i knoweth wether or not
it is for good or worst
I shall Set on my way
my path
my path
of hopefully righteousness
that lay in front of ones self

Monday, April 25, 2011

"Help Me In My Weakness" -Jimi Hendrix

What do you do when it seems like everything you do seems like its never good enough for anyone else?What am I a soldier? Cause all i hear sometimes is ridicule,commands or lecturres. How do you know what your feeling is real when you think and others tell you your emotions are mixed up?What do you do when everything, everything you have is gone? move along? What do you do whenall your freindships seem either broken or twisted or dented/ what do you do when no matter how hard you try, it seems like your treading water upstream, and everyone else is progressing but you? What do you do when one of your most beloved freinds dies? What do you do when another freind gets the same disease as thge first freind that has already died?
What Do You Do?What Do You Do?
What Should I Do?
What should I do when I get so depressed for no reason, that when it rains, that just thinking about going out in the thunderstorm and just standing there makes me somewhat happy?What do I do when I listen to music and hear nothing? What do I do when nothing else satisfies?What do I do when there days, yes DAYS that whereI'll just break down and cry for no reason at all? What do I do when i write but nothing is written? What do I do when I try to run away from my problems but the problems remain? HAHA....What do I do when it seems like all my oldest friends are dieng too quick and too young?
What Should I Do?What Should I Do?
What Will YOU Do?
"Manic Depression"-Jimi Hendrix

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The Ultimate Question

 What first got me started on this post was a little movie called 'The hitch hikers guide to the galaxy'. So i didnt like the ending to it. ithought tht the ultimate question in the movie was lame. i always thought tht the ultimate question was " what is our purpose like whats my own individual purpose". Well i got to thinking and i thought and thought and thought until i had a brain tumor and died......................................No i eventually came up with "why".Ask me anything go ahead and ill answer woith one word...WHY?.....But as i think more about the question thing i ask myself isnt the question "whats the ultimate question?" the ultimate question?And then i thought again  and again then i realized what the movie answer really meant....it means tht every one has there own individual question and most of the time like in the movie it has something to do with love....................Please feel free to comment

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


Love is a four letter word. Its a powerful word. It is as sharp as a knife sometimes, depending on how its used. Jimi Hendrix said tht "When the power of love over comes the love of power the world will find peace". Huey and the news made a song  called " the power of love" with lyrics that goes alittle something like this  " the power of love makes one man weep and another man sing".In some stories love finds each other by accident. In fewwer they find each other by looking for love. So the question arises where can we all find love? well here is my answer SCREW LOVE! hahahaha just kidding. if you have been searching high and low for love look in the middle if youve went to the ends of the earth looking for it stop searching and wait or look for it a little closer to home and rember tht love isnt in the looks its in the heart... and if you have done every thing u can to try and find it......give up! its either u were meant to do something better besides finding love or u were meant to die alone hahahaha.....................But it has been brought up to me tht u should never give up on love just take a break from trying to find it...........................................................................................................which brings up another question what are you and I meant for? (to be discussed at a later time in another blog)

The picture of the picture of dorian gray. the book that started to get me to read.

Well it all started off when i first saw the movie "The league of extrodinary gentlemen".I was watching this movie for like the twentieth time and as i watched the movie it hit me! All of these characters are from BOOKS! So at the time i had already read about tom sawyer and DR.Jeckle and MR.Hyde.So i asked myself wat about tht guy Dorian Gray?  SO i looked it up and found a picture of the book. So a week went by and i had forgotten about it, until i went to a thrift store bored to death and found the book. Its written by Oscar Wilde and i have heard he is a pretty good author so i bought the book. So it is by far one of my favorite books. To give some details about it its kinda dark, the main character is emotionally bi-polar and he lives for a long long time. if i had to rate it id give it  three stars for being a classic but out of my point of veiw i'd give it a four and a half stars.i would DEFFIANITLY recomend it for ur freinds tht r really selfish or stuck up or both haha.

On the battle front

If you dont k now what im talking about.....Well I should probably just tell u-football.Some know it as a violent sport that teaches kids violents.Wrong and right. You see the reason i play is for fun and to knock the crap of someone when im angry.Yes football is a very violent sport. I have gotten one broke bone, popped out knee cap, torn acl, and torn mcl, and all my knee problems haunt me still. Football even tho it is a contact sport if you have problems at home or dont have a lot of freinds footballs the answer. I was raised in football. at first the only reason i played was for my dad because football is his life and its not mine.Matter a fact i still do it until i quit tht is. but as i got older i realized tht being with my best buds and getting to knock the crap out of each other one minute and eat out the next is awesome! Being in highschool and in a small town u grow up with these same kids. SO ur raised to be brothers wether u know it or not.but it doesnt hit u tht u love each other like ur own flesh and blood until u have matured and u realize right then u would take a bullet for each other. But some of the best feelings in the world is knowing tht when u step out on the batle front known as the football feild tht ur brothers have ur back. ANd another is tht when u get to run the ball u r not incontrol of the team but ofe the whole feild. Being quarter back is amazing too even tho ur hands is under best frainds privates most of the time is tht ur incontrol of the feild and ur team. But some of my favorite expereinces is intercepting the ball, this year i had more interceptions than anyone on my team and the varsity. But the top two things tht i like most about football > #2 returning the football-one time i ran fifty yards and hurdled a kid on the opposing team,and even tho tht was the play i tore my acl it was amazing. #1 is running the ball while laying a shoulder and helmet into another player and winning tht half a second battle and keep on running. if u have anything to say or ask please do so

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