Warung Bebas

Sunday, September 25, 2011


Ok im going to try and stop being me....sounds stupid but if u reallllly knew me ud hate me. Im going to go on a quest. Im going see whether i should be funny or not. Be happy or sad. Or maybe mad. I need to find out who i am. I am going to rid this form of all emotions for as long as i can.  Im going to quit me. And whether u think this is a good idea or not it doesn't matter there's nothing or no obe who can stop me.I am unstoppable. So if i see u...which i highly doubt will ever happen anytime soon but if u see me and i seem to be in a monotone.well then im still figureing out me

What do I have left?

What dooo i have left? Cause i don't know. My whole life I've played football.raised to play.and that's all i can see now. It hurts so much ill just sit on my bed sobbing with tears and pulling at what hair i have while listening to the boys of fall. That's all i know how to do. I don't have anything else goinfor me right now. I just don't know what to do. I do everthing ok or bad. But football was a whole other story. I was great! I set two school records as a freshman and for half the season i had a broke arm! I broke the most interceptions in a season and most yards after catches........with a broke arm. I never complained i never back talked i was perfect. We were a brother hood. And now im in the truth and my so called brother and sisters r rejecting me my friend who has been my sister for ever hates me and so does her family im.being bullied by a baptized brother and no one cares or does anything! Where in the hell is the respect! Yeah i get im.not worth anything but even a tiny mouse deserves his justice. Do you know what its like to be able to wall into a classroom and kids ur own age and older look up to and look to u for protection? No u don't cause most people have lived sheltered lives andhave no clue wha the world islike! I was raised poor and still am and in a small town like this football is everything. I went to a football game the other day and some kid I've never seen came up to me and said " are you Tucker? #23? I saw u play! Your a beast on the feild! Will u throw ball with me?" I busted out into tears and toldthe kid i'd be honored. His dad saw that and asked me why i cried. Andi told him that i love football and that i should have never quit. And i told him to let his boy do what makes him happy. And he busted into tears. So here i sit sobbing and choking on my tears wondering why in the hell am i still liveing?

Monday, September 19, 2011

MMM..Misconceptual Musical Mondays

Ok so here's three questions.
1.What was the last song tht made u cry and y?
2.If you were in a band what would be the band name?
3.If could tour the world with one band whether they r deador not who would u tour with?

Sunday, September 18, 2011


Ok well im just going to go try some more reasons on why I do things and other useless crap tha pitys me.ok well alot of people say I cry alot. Well last week I only cried five times.once because we were watching my favorite cartoon ever in a car and it was a single tear.the second was because my mom got up in my face telling me how I disgust her and how im not worth anything and that ill never make it to the new system. And the only reason I don't kill myself is because I want every chance in the world to try and make it in the new system I have been told all my life that I was never going to make it there its not a privilege anymore its a goal and a challenge.there is sometimes that I just want to kill myself but I know I can't because I have a family t take care and even tho they get onto me and yells at me I stil need to take care of them. The third was because megan cheered me up when I was in such a low state and the fourth was again the same reason.the fifth was because Idk y. All I know was I sitting on my bed and my eyes just started I wasn't sobbing or anything I just did Idk it wasn't weird its happened before.well ok im not going explain y I cried when my got on to me cause any one who had a lick of common sense can figure out. But the reason y I cried when I watched that cartoon episode is cause it takes me back to just for a short 7 mintues in my childhood wasn't ruined. Now I still may be a child age wise or physically but ever since ty was born I have been having to play father cause well my "dad" is always at work and then comes home to watch tv and go to bed while yelling at someone all the while. But he has gotten better tho with ty and erica tho. I mean the things they get away with if I so much thought about at there age or now for that matter I wouldn't be able to sit down for weeks they'd whip my butt so hard. The reason I cried megan cheered me up is that whether shes my friend or not she cheered me up and I have never had any one there to do that for me thru my life span. And the reason I shed a single tear over the mod simplest and littlest things like say a song is cause I haven't ever been able to enjoy it or anything else and even tho I may have heard that song many a times just that one time whether im with my best friend or in my room bored im hearing that song for the first time as beauty. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me cause then ill feel bad. The reason I write all my problems is cause well I never get to really talk about these things and I guess it just feels good to get it out. And this blog truly is a blessing y? Because my mom doesn't read it and I can say what I truly feel. Now I only talk to very few people about these things is cause they either ask or because I need them but there are certain people like lauren Eckel and other people who I will never discuss because well I like them so much I think they deserve the best parts of me. Ok well I told u not to read this but if you did ...thank u and I send u my love</p>
<p>P.s. feedback would be nice</p>

Friday, September 16, 2011

Life in a fox hole

Well lately life has been treating me like..... well more like beating me.there have been times where I've wondered if god really even exists anymore and times where god is the only thing I got. My mom just had surgerey for something she ddnt even need. And so I have been haveing to take care of my brother and sisters from now on in. You might ask where my dad is..weeelllllllll my birthfather is in jail. And the so called "dad" that married my mom when I was two could give a shit less about me really I mean the last time we said more than a few words to each other was when I went to a game and went and sat with my friends and realized halfway thru the game my "dad" was sitting behind me and I said hay....that was over a month ago. He screams and yells at me and if I do good he'll throw me up against a wall and cuss at me. And my mom well she does the same except throwing me up against a wall. And I have told people my plans about how when im 18 im moving out. Sine people ask y I just dont stay there a little longer. Well its not because I want out which I do but because that's when im getting kicked out. And along with that my mom might die. And to make matters worse I have gotten mad and have a real quick temper lately and mood changes. One minute ill be cussing one of my best freinds whom I love (kit kat) and the next im crying asking for forgiveness and advice in wht to do. And another person who we really aren't friends or not atleast yet in my mind. But anyway we have been talking more than I ever remember and we have fought twice already (meggellys). I haven't told certain people these things because one I don't thing they deserve to be wrapped up in my crap (lauren...no one really should have ever gotten wrapped up in it) or because I jus don't know u and ur not my friend and we just talk or hang out some (lorna) either way im sorry for everything I've done to my friends..the only safe place I have any more is my room. And I haven't been to a meeting in about two months. I use to never miss one. But then I called everyone to get a ride. I thought I had some friends over here. Apparently not, I mean I had a meeting with the elders and they didn't even ask about where I've been. I haven't gotten one single phone call or nothing I mean I live right next to an elder for gods sake! Where is this "brotherly love" at? So as far as im concerned my life will be fine when im 18 and out of this lyeing inbreed state.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

One Fair Day

Ok well I have nothing to update books wise ive read just about the most I can bear right now. wait i did read the squires tale #2.Maybe I already blogged about it.-goes and looks-............................................Ok no i havent ok well anyway this book is well I will give it 3.5 stars ..ok the reason them stupid stars are up there instead of over here is cause i dont feel like fixing it sorry.But any way this series is made up of a lot of short books. The second one was ok in the beginning and then a little bit better then WHAM!!! some thing happens between the main character and the king (i loved that part) and then it climaxs and border lines all the way to the end which i loved. If you are into medieval storys, fantasy storys, or both like me and my best fre...my friend Meggellys does then this is a must read. Ok now back to what I came here to write about. -le sigh- Ok well me and my best friends went to the fair the other day.Im getting happy again just thinking about it. Well I had an amazing time:
Megan said:
"hmmm... I think my favorite part was dancing to "Bottoms Up" while waiting in line. I liked "The Pirate" the best. I liked the first time we went on it. hahaha"
Lorna said: So what was your favorite ride?
"The Himalaya. I remember riding it Im not sure how long ago with my mom, it wasn't that one specifically but it was the same ride and it was just as fun as I remembered it to be."
And what was your favorite part of that day?
"Hmm I think just being able to hang out with my friends and all of us having an awesome time together with out being bored out of our skulls."
Kailas thoughts on the subject have yet to be known i will update this post soon tho.
My favorite part was actually being able to be in asheville for the first time and have a good time.Plus I was with my sister and my two friends. there was only one down time if that. FOr me my down part was when i actually started to think.....well as in i wonder off and i am like in my own demension thats when megan started to wave her hand in my face and then we got on the himalaya..and again sometimes it does suck to be the bigger one like on rides that spin u around u get squished but ive been thru worse so it was nothing. Tho at one point i couldnt feel my foot for a moment.And I am really glad i got to tag along and thankful i have such an awesome sis and freinds. I cant wait till we get together again which might be at some skillet raven party? idk i asked if i was invited and i got an imediate no from the girls so i  get it its cool but kaila is going to try and teach me to swing dance at another party or get together....I tried swing dancing at mcdonalds with her and i cant dance apparently without ghettoing it out.Im sure that will be fun.And then i have to help with alot of my best friend sheyanes graduation party which i wont be going to because its in december and if u know me that is my last work month and im not taking any off days cause its the last time i get to work before i start back homeschooling.Well i am extremly upset i wont get to dance with my friends and slow dance with emma which is the most cutest thing on the earth to me.. and i wont get to make lauren try to do anything really which if u knew her u would know that i love to tease and aggravate her cause she is the one who enjoys sitting in dark corners doing nothing.But the bright side of it is i wont have to go and see half of the people i hate in the world :)...well i think im done so ill see who ever reads this later unless i dont know that is.BYEZ!

Monday, September 12, 2011

MMM......Misconceptual Musical Mondays

1. Whats the first sing u heard or listened to today?

2.what's your favorite techno'ish song?

3. If you were in a band what instrument would u play?(u don't have to really know how to play it)

A1. Ok im pretty sure it was people=$#@% by slipknot
A2. Harder,better,faster,stronger by daft punk
A3. Guitar and vocals

Sunday, September 11, 2011

just boring.....or is it? yeah it is

Ok well im considering quitting blogging...I may start a new one on tumblr but Idk I mean I like writing and all but I like feedback as well...its just like this stupid town I want to to do more but I can't.well I finished reading the squires tale 2 I thank megan Eckel so flipping much for reminding me of my most favorite of books that I haven't finised the series yet. Well ever heard of the girl next door?  Well it's like the hot girl next door that the guy likes and some guys fantasies -rolls eyes- well I just realized im the boy next door..there is this stupid little blonde girl who visits her grandparents every year more than once and like every time I see her I always have my shirt off doing something hot like working on something playing basketball or playing guitar..and she flirts with me all the time.well besides tht I read something that makes me want to g back to not ever giving a $&*% about anything...."the person who always cares about everyone and trys to make everyone happy is always lonely"...well besides that I get t go to the fair with by far my bestest friends ever! And I am going to win that stupid $200 on the bull ride and im going to buy a plate with the money too...and for some reason I want a new kitty one that is blonde

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

MMM....Misconceptual Musical Mondays

K this is not a spinoff of Megans WWW this is my own thing!!!
1.What was the first thing you listened to this morning..or night?
2.Whats your favorite type of music and why?
3.AND! If you could perform one song flawlessly on stage what would it be?

1.Higher by Creed
2.mostly everything but if I had to die to choose I'd pick rock 'n' roll all the way
3.Havent really thought of that..maybe thats why I asked it..Ok I would have to say Slight return by Jimi Hendrix..CAsue he is amazing and i love the song

Tucker the Fae

Love what is it? Hmmmmm.???? IDK. Love to me is seeing the trees and rotting leaves underneath it and knowing that tree is conected forever to the earth.They are one! The tree didn't ask for this but neither did the earth.BUT neither complains.You might think that is because they can't speak. Well sorry to disappoint but they do in such a way that no one can explain but feel even I can barely begin to comprehend there speech.The tree why it provides us with air in its most simpilist functions.It gives earth the most beautiful sight o look upon or up at.And earth why she returns the favor with thin and thick blades of over 100's of different shades of green grass and millions of different types of beautiful shoots of flowers.Such beauty cannot be harnessed.Then these evil despicable creatures come and destroy and desimate what GOD HIMSELF gave them! They come and destroy once was theirs to build monstrous things of metal and for what? FOr their love of their type of green "beauty" (money). And for I to be apart of these creatures makes me want to vomit. For I sall never, NEVER be one of them! I shall die alone, yes I am lonely that maybe eone day I might find such a love that i feel for the worlds natural beauty around me in a human. This natural beauty that was given to us by god and and was meant to stay but one day it shall all be restored.....................one day.

WWW thing and other craaaappp

ok im currently reading The squires tales #2 and it rocks!!!
Just got done reading.uuhhhh ummmm lets see it nwas the uhh i cant remember....
I wanna read the squires tales #3..OHHH!!! i just finished reading The squires tales #1 which i gave to my best freind.ok im going to start a new thing just like megan's www wednesdays but mine is going to be called music monday!!!!! :D   any way im going to go ahead and make one for this monday...i have to take my permit test today and i have musical theater and havent slept at ALLL!!!! the past few days!!! im tottally going to fail EPICALY AND ROYALLY!!!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Updates and moore

Ok so for all of my viewers (none) I would like to say.............boo. yeah im really bored but my bestest friend and loved sister got me hooked on his game and I tink half the reason I play it is to try and beat her at it. But either way im one of those guys who doesn't care for the end result but enjoys the challenge I think my sis just wants yo win but she wlhas been playing since like 5inches ago (very long time). I got my debit card last night .....no wait it was this morning at 2. I also got the squires tales# 2 and am looking forward to reading it.I had a hilarious burn the other night.  Someone said im cool as crap. So I came back with most crap is body temperature so ur not cool at all. I wore my deadmau5 shirt to the game a few days ago and the only persons that knew who they were was a gay man which we ended up talking for like 5 mnutes.oh and im still working on quitting the game which I have every word ready to type all in my head just evrytime I get to do it I get distracted.and ne and this one kid from clyde have never really gotten aplong but we r testing each other and we aren't friends but we r cool....also im gointo get to go play guitar at shys party in a couple of months while she sings who knew by pink. But its most likely I wont depending on who shows up to the party. Cause lately a guy in our hall who just got there some time back is a bully. Now I had go put up with bullies my whole life until the day I had enough and beat the living crap out of the bully who was clearly twice my size and that was 5th grade when I was 4' 2" and 75lbs.. and im sorry to say this but im either going to beat the hell out of him or quit going to our meetings and go to north or south franklins meetings.all that's all I can think of at the moment so ill see all zero of you guyses lata.


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